Still feeling a lot of anger

I don't know how I became this mom. 

I'm bad about being on my cell a lot around the boys, trying to change that.

I'm not good at discipline. I yell at them like my mother yelled at me. I don't have enough patience with them. I'm lazy. Everyone else has plenty of energy after a 9hr workday & 2hr commute, right?

I search google desperately for ideas on how to discipline, pottytrain, timeouts, getting kids to listen, learning not to yell, etc etc. I don't trust my gut/instincts when it comes to raising a child. 

I want to change, I want to be the mother that years from now my boys are saying what a great childhood they had.