Monday, June 24, 2013

Exercise Playlist

Figured since I shared this on facebook, might as well post it here as well

My current playlist for walking/jogging

Breathe            Alexi Murdoch
Poker Face        Lady GaGa
Body Movin'        The Beastie Boys
Born Too Slow        The Crystal Method
Remix (I Like The)    New Kids On the Block
Imma Be            Black Eyed Peas
Number One        Chaz Jankel
Big Girl Now         Lady GaGa [Ft. New Kids On The Block]   
Sexy and I Know It    LMFAO

Wrong way

Haven't posted for a few days... last week was hormonal, so of course my weight jumped with the cravings, etc.  At least I kept on exercising throughout. 
The scale is creeping up the wrong way right now, trying to get stabilized again with eating and exercise.  I walked/jogged 1.5miles this evening :)  Not too bad for a fat chick! :)
Not giving up, just feeling a little discouraged.  This week is going to be rough at work.  Hopefully I will not give in to my normal stress-eating.  I just need to get through the week and then I can relax a little bit.  Need to schedule a few days off soon and just concentrate on getting through my coding program faster.
Thats all for tonight

Starting weight: 297.2
Current weight: 259.3 :-/ (thanks to El Fenix quesadillas/chips/guacamole/brownie, popcorn at movie theater)

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Sunflowers & Milestones

This morning after everyone woke up and got dressed & ready, we got in the car and headed toward Waxahachie.  Shanes mom mentioned she had seen a field of real sunflowers in the area.  We were taking a road that went from hwy 45 to hwy 35 when we started driving closer and closer to THIS!!!!


So, of course I needed lots of pictures for documentation purposes.

We headed home and stopped at Cracker Barrel on the way to get lunch.  I was trying to choose a healthy option, I found a tossed salad, but I was too hungry to eat just a salad.  So I got the Southwestern Scrambler (scrambled eggs, w/salsa, tomatoes, potatoes).  Probably not the best option, but I got my protein?
Went home, all the boys took a nap.  I was trying to take a nap, but just couldn't :-/
After naps, we went back out for groceries and haircuts for the boys.
Pre & post haircut pictures.... I love their hair buzzed :) Makes momma happy!

Before

After:



Before: 
After:


One more thing before bed...This morning, the day after my 40lb weight loss, I lost another 2lbs!!! Crazy! :) 
Didn't get much exercise in today, so I went for a walk after the boys went to bed and after a little bit of studying.  I wanted to at least make an attempt to jog, but without people seeing me.  I took the path behind our cul-de-sac and I jogged for maybe 5minutes out of the 21 minutes I walked!  I just kept trying to jog a little/walk a little/jog a little/walk a little.
I was amazed I could actually do it! Really feeling proud at how far I've come :) 
Starting weight: 297.2
Current weight: 254.8!! (Almost to my short goal of 250!)

Friday, June 14, 2013

Yay!

As of this morning, I have lost 40lbs!!!

Starting weight: 297.2
Current weight: 256.8

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Accomplishment!

Feeling an incredible sense of accomplishment at the moment.  I just finished all the training modules of my Medical Coding program and I am about to start the practicum where I get to test out everything I've learned!  Getting closer and closer to becoming a real medical coder.
Today was slow and uneventful at work.
I keep reading and hearing about how getting healthy (body & mind) causes some big changes in your life and the people you surround yourself with.  I would like to surround myself with people who love and support me and are not constantly negative.  
What if there is no option to get away from the negativity? 
I am hoping my therapist will be able to give me tips on dealing with negativity.  
Speaking of therapist, I finally got an email from her this afternoon.  She was actually at the office, wasn't aware that someone had locked the door of the office, and her cell phone was dead.  It sounds plausible and I really don't want to go searching for another therapist with the right hours for me.  We rescheduled for tomorrow.
I wish so much I could be a better role model, a better influence on those around me.  All I can do is keep doing what I'm doing and keep my head up!
I walked over a mile at lunch today and I attempted Jillian Michael's video again this evening... still pretty tough, I will work my way into more, slowly.  My eating was a little off, but I think I did ok.  
Wednesday confession: so, those smudgies that were kind of healthy? I ate about 4 of  those today :-/  and I had a grande vanilla latte from starbucks.

Hm, no pictures for today...

Starting weight:  297.2
Current weight:  258.6 

38lbs lost!

Abandonment issues

Monday at work was super slow, but we had a little family emergency in the evening (everything is fine now).  So the added stress & worry brought on the emotional eating :(  
Monday confession: 4 morninstar farm vegetarian bacon strips with muenster & colby jack cheese melted on top, plus a sandwich bag 3/4 filled with french fried onions (the kind they top green bean casserole with).
Tuesday work was slow again and I didnt go walking at lunch.  
I was anticipating my 2nd therapy appt that evening.  I got to the appt 15min early and played games on my phone until appt time.  I walk up 5min before appt starts...the door is locked.  I called and left a msg for the therapist, I called the office number which said they were closed, I emailed her.  Nothing.  *sigh*
Tuesday confession: I ate 3 of my oatmeal cookies at work thinking I would workout later to burn them off, but no workout.

Pictures of my Monday & Tuesday

A much better version of toast w/peanut butter & applesauce (morning snack at work)


Someone shared this on Facebook, so instead of eating a pint of ice cream & a can of Pringles after being abandoned by my therapist, I ate one of these.

http://www.fitsugar.com/Healthy-Snack-Smudgies-1731994


Starting weight: 297.2
Current weight: 258.6

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Weekend

It was a rough weekend for me.  I volunteered to work Saturday morning.  Thankfully what made it worth it to me was being able to see one of my best friends Valerie for our monthly "GBO" (Girls breakfast out).  She always gives me hope in so many ways. She is my mentor in a way. I miss working with her so much, but I'm so happy she is able to do what she loves and has worked so hard for.
I did ok eating for most of the weekend (until tonight). I avoided the donuts they brought in to work on Saturday.  But today, I got some kind of urge to bake something.  So I went searching for oatmeal cookies which I know Shane loves. I found Martha Stuart's Classic Oatmeal Cookies and I made a batch.  So many oatmeal cookies...*sigh* I ate 3 1/2.
Then Shane went on a Pinterest kick and decided to make Garlic Bread pizza tonight.  It was so yummy, but I really wasn't planning to eat a heavy dinner since I tried to get most of my calories for breakfast & lunch.  I ended up eating 3 garlic bread pizza "slices"
I went way over my calories for the day, even though I walked 1.30miles while the boys were napping.  I also tried to do the Jillian Michael's 30 day shred after the boys went to bed.  I got through the stretching and then, yikes... jumping jacks? push ups? I did a few, but I was really not ready for all of that.  I will have to work into it slowly.

Pictures of my weekend...

30day Shred dvd & weights

Bourbon Pecan coffee at Cafe Brazil for GBO w/Val

Not ending the weekend well making oatmeal cookies.  They will be dispursed at work tomorrow.  They are really yummy though!


Starting weight: 297.2
Current weight: 258.9  

Support

Feeling a lack of support on all sides this weekend.  I can't get away from the negativity and anger constantly surrounding my life.  Feeling a bit hopeless today.  Woe is me.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Busy work day

Very busy at work today, but at least not as stressful. 
I've eaten pretty well yesterday and today, didn't over-snack.  I walked at lunch, but didn't do a full mile because there were lots of people there for a convention and just in my way.  
I did get on the recumbent bike at home tonight, but I only spent 20min on it, because I pushed too hard too fast.  So I stopped.  At least I did a little bit.

No pictures today, kind of a boring, rainy end-of-spring-day.

Starting weight 297.2
Current weight 259.3
 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Exhausted

Yesterday evening, I had my first appointment with my new therapist.  I really liked her.  Within the first session she brought out of me that one of my main problems is being able to express my feelings (anger for the most part). 
I definitely told her I held alot inside and I "ate" my feelings.

Yesterday, I was sad to see the scale went up again to 261.0.
Its the late night snack "cravings" I have... they all tend to be sugary or high carb :(  Thats what ruins my number on the scale.  I know this is about learning to be healthy, not just working on the number on the scale, but that number, when it drops, it gives me more motivation and inspiration to keep going.

At work I walked at lunch Monday, skipped Tuesday, and I walked again today.  I hate sweating so profusely in front of strangers (and while in uncomfortable business casual clothing).  I'm just trying to keep my head up and not care what other people might see, this is about me and my health and how healthy I will be after walking.

My 3yo seems like he's getting worse with tantrums, defiance, not wanting to do what we ask him.  We all went for a walk this afternoon and he threw a tantrum on the walking path behind our neighborhood, I'm sure the whole neighborhood could hear him.  We were heading home and he wanted to go the opposite direction.  Its so hard to go for a decent walk with the boys.  At least I got an extra walk in today along with the mile at lunchtime.


I ate pretty decently today, didn't really eat anything "bad" for me, no real treats or anything.  Hopefully that will give the scale a little nudge downward.

This weekend, I am hoping I can buy Jillian Michael's 30day Shred.  I keep hearing how great it is, I see really good reviews for it also.  I just need something different and inside while its getting too hot outside.  I really would like to incorporate weights into my exercise also.

 Jillian Michaels

Have I mentioned how much I'm crushing on Benedict Cumberbatch right now?!



The ice cream is still in the freezer :(  I hate that I am constantly aware of this.

Starting weight: 297.2
Current weight: 259.9

Monday, June 3, 2013

Pizza on the scale

So, my pizza showed up on the scale at this mornings weigh-in.  I went back up 1.5lbs.  Thats ok, after all, I did eat cake, ice cream and way too much pizza yesterday.  I thought maybe the walk afterword would counteract, I'm sure I would have gained even more if I hadn't done the walk!

Back to work this morning.  We didn't make our "goal" for the month which means we have to dress business casual again.  Normally, I would take that as an excuse to stop walking because its too uncomfortable to walk in dress clothes.  But I'm not about making excuses anymore.  I've made excuses for 36 years (although I doubt I was a 4yr old making excuses for not exercising!).  Even though I was in yucky slacks, I did my mile walk today at lunch.  I wish I didn't sweat so much, it makes me feel icky.  

I ate really well today for my breakfast/lunch & snacks.  I started getting a headache in the afternoon, was trying to figure out why and I just didn't know.  I don't usually have coffee in the afternoon, just the morning, so didn't think it was a caffeine headache.  I drank 3 bottles of water while at work, so I wasn't dehydrated.  Probably a stress headache, seems to be common lately in relation to work.

I was doing ok with dinner this evening... but then hubby decided to have leftover cake & ice cream to share with the boys.  Ice cream is my trigger and its really hard having it in the house :( I ended up having some of that and I just went downhill from there.  I had eaten a small bowl of cereal, a small apple, and a piece of whole grain bread w/natural peanut butter for dinner.  But after the boys went to bed, I ended up eating some of the macaroni & cheese that was leftover from their dinner, but no that wasn't enough.  I guess I was craving salt, so I got out the tortilla chips (that I didn't know we bought) and sprinkled cheese over it for nachos w/salsa.  Turned out to be very unsatisfying.  It was a brand new bag, I opened it myself, but the chips ended up being stale.  Sadly, I ate it anyway. *shame*

I did have a thought about getting on the recumbant bike this evening, but being very tired, all I wanted to do was get some studying done and go to bed.

I am going to my first appointment with a new licensed therapist.  Its been many years since I've been to one, and boy have my problems changed since then! I am looking forward to it, but I still feel weird about it too.  I know my problems are nothing compared to some peoples problems, but to me they are still problems and issues I haven't dealt with properly.  I think this will be one of the stepping stones I need to create a better healthy lifestyle for myself and my family.

I have no real pictures of my day, but since today is Benjamin's true birthday, I am posting some of my favorite baby pictures of him.  



Starting Weight: 297.2
Current Weight: 259.3

Sunday, June 2, 2013

A 3 year old & a birthday party

Woke up today the same way I did yesterday.  Heard something outside the room, looked up and Ben was standing at the doorway saying "Hi"
I did my usual first-thing-in-the-morning weigh in...was surprised to see another 1.5lb drop!
I didn't eat enough calories yesterday, I wasn't doing it on purpose, but I well made up for it today and then some :(  But I also did alot of exercising & sweating today too.
Today, we prepared the house for Benjamin's 3rd birthday party.
Ben of course was not especially cooperative today, maybe we shouldn't have told him over and over we were having a party for him.  
I was able to mow the front lawn in order to burn some calories
Sadly, we had pizza/cake/ice cream for birthday lunch.  I told myself I was only going to eat 2 slices of pizza.  And I did at lunch.  But after everyone left and the boys went down for a nap, and theres still slices of pizza sitting on the counter... :(  I ended up eating 6slices all together.  Thankfully it was thin crust, but still.  Bad bad bad. So hard to break bad habits.
Maybe if I can incorporate enough good habits, the bad ones will eventually drop off.
After I ate the 4 extra slices in shame, I got inspiration since the boys were still taking a nap.
I told Shane I was going for a walk.  I recently downloaded the app Nike +, its basically a running app (I of course do not run).  I've been using it when I walk during lunch at work to try to make it to one mile.  So I turned up my headphones with my exercise playlist and went off for a walk through the neighborhood.  I walked for almost 30min and almost 1 1/2 miles.
When I got home, poor Shane was cleaning up a "dirty" mess in the boys room.  At least it wasn't on the walls this time!
I hope the lawnmowing & walk will keep me from gaining from my bad eating today.  If it doesn't, I have my healthy lunch & breakfasts prepared for tomorrow and I plan to do my mile at lunchtime.  I will keep going! 

Pictures from my day: 

3 years ago tomorrow...my sweet Benjamin Lee was born!
 
Ben loved his Thomas the Tank Engine cake!



We discovered this little guy LOVES bbq ribs.
 


Starting weight: 297.2
Current weight:  257.8 :)
 

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Finally!

My body really didn't want to drop below 260. Ive been up & down in the 260's since March.  Last week, I walked everyday during lunch at work. The extra effort paid off.  I weighed in this morning at 259.3!
Went grocery shopping and some studying so far.  Working on laundry and getting ready for Benjamin's 3rd birthday party tomorrow.  Ive eaten pretty healthy today. There is ice cream in the freezer for tomorrow. I wish I was not so aware of that fact.
Some pictures from my day...
Ben has a bug bite beside his eye and its swollen & looks bad.  So of course he decided to get extra attention at the store by telling everyone he saw "Hi"

My healthy salad for lunch: Spinach, Kale, shredded cheese, 1 boca burger crumbled, balsamic vinaigrette 

Starting weight: 297.2
Current weight: 259.3