Accomplishment!

Feeling an incredible sense of accomplishment at the moment.  I just finished all the training modules of my Medical Coding program and I am about to start the practicum where I get to test out everything I've learned!  Getting closer and closer to becoming a real medical coder.
Today was slow and uneventful at work.
I keep reading and hearing about how getting healthy (body & mind) causes some big changes in your life and the people you surround yourself with.  I would like to surround myself with people who love and support me and are not constantly negative.  
What if there is no option to get away from the negativity? 
I am hoping my therapist will be able to give me tips on dealing with negativity.  
Speaking of therapist, I finally got an email from her this afternoon.  She was actually at the office, wasn't aware that someone had locked the door of the office, and her cell phone was dead.  It sounds plausible and I really don't want to go searching for another therapist with the right hours for me.  We rescheduled for tomorrow.
I wish so much I could be a better role model, a better influence on those around me.  All I can do is keep doing what I'm doing and keep my head up!
I walked over a mile at lunch today and I attempted Jillian Michael's video again this evening... still pretty tough, I will work my way into more, slowly.  My eating was a little off, but I think I did ok.  
Wednesday confession: so, those smudgies that were kind of healthy? I ate about 4 of  those today :-/  and I had a grande vanilla latte from starbucks.

Hm, no pictures for today...

Starting weight:  297.2
Current weight:  258.6 

38lbs lost!

Abandonment issues

Monday at work was super slow, but we had a little family emergency in the evening (everything is fine now).  So the added stress & worry brought on the emotional eating :(  

Monday confession: 4 morninstar farm vegetarian bacon strips with muenster & colby jack cheese melted on top, plus a sandwich bag 3/4 filled with french fried onions (the kind they top green bean casserole with).

Tuesday work was slow again and I didnt go walking at lunch.  

I was anticipating my 2nd therapy appt that evening.  I got to the appt 15min early and played games on my phone until appt time.  I walk up 5min before appt starts...the door is locked.  I called and left a msg for the therapist, I called the office number which said they were closed, I emailed her.  Nothing.  *sigh*

Tuesday confession: I ate 3 of my oatmeal cookies at work thinking I would workout later to burn them off, but no workout.

Pictures of my Monday & Tuesday

A much better version of toast w/peanut butter & applesauce (morning snack at work)

Someone shared this on Facebook, so instead of eating a pint of ice cream & a can of Pringles after being abandoned by my therapist, I ate one of these.

http://www.fitsugar.com/Healthy-Snack-Smudgies-1731994

Starting weight: 297.2

Current weight: 258.6

Exhausted

Yesterday evening, I had my first appointment with my new therapist.  I really liked her.  Within the first session she brought out of me that one of my main problems is being able to express my feelings (anger for the most part). 
I definitely told her I held alot inside and I "ate" my feelings.

Yesterday, I was sad to see the scale went up again to 261.0.
Its the late night snack "cravings" I have... they all tend to be sugary or high carb :(  Thats what ruins my number on the scale.  I know this is about learning to be healthy, not just working on the number on the scale, but that number, when it drops, it gives me more motivation and inspiration to keep going.

At work I walked at lunch Monday, skipped Tuesday, and I walked again today.  I hate sweating so profusely in front of strangers (and while in uncomfortable business casual clothing).  I'm just trying to keep my head up and not care what other people might see, this is about me and my health and how healthy I will be after walking.

My 3yo seems like he's getting worse with tantrums, defiance, not wanting to do what we ask him.  We all went for a walk this afternoon and he threw a tantrum on the walking path behind our neighborhood, I'm sure the whole neighborhood could hear him.  We were heading home and he wanted to go the opposite direction.  Its so hard to go for a decent walk with the boys.  At least I got an extra walk in today along with the mile at lunchtime.

I ate pretty decently today, didn't really eat anything "bad" for me, no real treats or anything.  Hopefully that will give the scale a little nudge downward.

This weekend, I am hoping I can buy Jillian Michael's 30day Shred.  I keep hearing how great it is, I see really good reviews for it also.  I just need something different and inside while its getting too hot outside.  I really would like to incorporate weights into my exercise also.

 Jillian Michaels

Have I mentioned how much I'm crushing on Benedict Cumberbatch right now?!

The ice cream is still in the freezer :(  I hate that I am constantly aware of this.

Starting weight: 297.2

Current weight: 259.9