Exhausted

Yesterday evening, I had my first appointment with my new therapist.  I really liked her.  Within the first session she brought out of me that one of my main problems is being able to express my feelings (anger for the most part). 
I definitely told her I held alot inside and I "ate" my feelings.

Yesterday, I was sad to see the scale went up again to 261.0.
Its the late night snack "cravings" I have... they all tend to be sugary or high carb :(  Thats what ruins my number on the scale.  I know this is about learning to be healthy, not just working on the number on the scale, but that number, when it drops, it gives me more motivation and inspiration to keep going.

At work I walked at lunch Monday, skipped Tuesday, and I walked again today.  I hate sweating so profusely in front of strangers (and while in uncomfortable business casual clothing).  I'm just trying to keep my head up and not care what other people might see, this is about me and my health and how healthy I will be after walking.

My 3yo seems like he's getting worse with tantrums, defiance, not wanting to do what we ask him.  We all went for a walk this afternoon and he threw a tantrum on the walking path behind our neighborhood, I'm sure the whole neighborhood could hear him.  We were heading home and he wanted to go the opposite direction.  Its so hard to go for a decent walk with the boys.  At least I got an extra walk in today along with the mile at lunchtime.

I ate pretty decently today, didn't really eat anything "bad" for me, no real treats or anything.  Hopefully that will give the scale a little nudge downward.

This weekend, I am hoping I can buy Jillian Michael's 30day Shred.  I keep hearing how great it is, I see really good reviews for it also.  I just need something different and inside while its getting too hot outside.  I really would like to incorporate weights into my exercise also.

 Jillian Michaels

Have I mentioned how much I'm crushing on Benedict Cumberbatch right now?!

The ice cream is still in the freezer :(  I hate that I am constantly aware of this.

Starting weight: 297.2

Current weight: 259.9